A man runs down the alley with a rifle in his hand. He stops and points it at the sky, bellowing out a terrible song like a digireedoo played by Satan. The bullet flies for a million miles, shattering the lens of the MegaHubble and sending it spiraling out of control. The man in black stabbed alley-bound man, killing him instantly with a cackle, informing him he was never his assistant.
The fear-lord, set upon his Throne of Laughter, crafted a great and terrible item to slay all his enemies. It scanned the horizon beneath his black iron boots as he watched the horizon. With a shrill scream like a banshie, it incinerates the Child Who Flees, raging about with a death-crusher, Orb of Hell formerly at the ready until his tragic obliteration.
An amorphous blob oozed from out beneath the Spanish Main, growling about scared little men. He opened his mouth, whirring as a broken machine can whir and firing a thousand spells a momen. The Child Who Flees, however, has truly bested him, beating him with his Death-Crusher and vaporizing his skeleton. The jelly-like form of the terrible beast melts like an ice cube, screaming as his soul is dragged back to hell to be dispensed soon after in a new and ever more terrible form.
The Sorcerer of Wonder sends his magic to the combatants, blessing them with energy ripped from his very soul. They grow stronger until the Sorcerer is sated. He targets a worthy ally, one who has done nothing but great service to the Azure Masters, and blasts them with his very spirit. The Blob of Rage is empowered, and for brief and fleeting moment, he feels the grip of immortality. He slays his enemies with the power of his own undying hate at being such a tubby fatface. And then, moments later, it is gone, both the Sorcerer and his pet are destroyed by the Great Terror.
Screaming in a guttural and vicious tongue, the Cycloptic deathlord storms over the hill. He throws creatures small, near meaningless if not for their destructive way, where they are stepped upon and, screaming with rage, detonated. He has many of these beasts strapped to his body, for he is truly invincible.
Until the Beast arrives. Crawling out from hell itself, a hellbeast dressed in a cloak of fear and ignorance and spews flame that incinerates the soul of everything in it’s wake. The Lord of the Pyres, the Burning Empress, the Queenking of Fireosity, it is known by many names. And it lives only for battle. The only who can slay it is the Sovereign Knight of Devastation.
The Knight fires a burst from his mighty wave cannon, striking the horror in the chest and blowing him to pieces with a critical shot. All the pores of his skin shriek in terror as they are dragged back to hell itself, screaming forever and ever. The knight giggles with impish glee before finally expiring, the man in black stabbing him to consume his very essence.
“Gentlemen.” he cries, before being crushed to death by the Mega Hubble in a blast so immense it destroyed the earth, reset time until the earth exploded, then reset time to explode the earth again.
November 2011
15 posts
Never buy hamsters from Petsmart because you will think you are getting two boys when you are actually getting a boy and a girl. And eventually the girl will get pregnant. And you will think she is dying. But she won’t die, and one day you’ll wake up to little baby hamsters all over your cage.
And one day you’ll come home from middle school and find her eating all of her babies and you’ll cry, because this is nothing like Hamtaro at all.
Don’t shop at Petsmart.
have you ever thought maybe sonic the hedgehog goes so fast because he’s running away from his feelings…………….
so imagine you’re having sex with amanda bynes and then you both orgasm at the same time and have the greatest moment of raw passion in your life then when she whips out her post-coital cigarette she goes “bring out the dancing lobsters” and then they do come out
wouldn’t that be something
“If I were a lobster…”
wouldnt it tho
According to my old computer, it’s 1911.
Huh.
I wanted to be the most gangster dragon slayer in the land, so I got Spinning Skyrims.
Relevant to recent things in my life.Avoid -
- People that victimize themselves instead of owning up to their faults in situations
- People that use projection; those that take what they hate about themselves, place those qualities in other people and mercilessly attack them
- People that have a history of not…
